Oh go on then, just this once....

I am in need of cheering up. You may have read my previous blog 'Swoon, I'll catch you', it was a tribute to the leading men in my and my beloved sister's movie lives. Now I would like to do a different tribute. A smuttier tribute. This one is for the men in films that you really know you shouldn't like. The rogues, the heartbreakers, the good time boys. You don't want to make a life with them, or even go out with them, just the weekend will do. You almost feel embarrassed that you have succumbed to their charms. But succumb you have. Here's to the boys that make you feel great whilst you're watching them, and a little bit grubby after the credits roll, don't deny it, you know what I mean ladies..... Ray, enjoy in no particular order!


James Bond Daniel Craig

We've all got our own special Bond with James. Some like Roger, some Timothy, Pierce or in most cases Sean. They can all stay in the Astin Martin. For me, Daniel is James. The edge of menace, the eyes of ice blue, the perfect compact body, the brooding looks, the whisper of humour on his perfect pout. For the beach scene where he barely conceals his weapon of mass destruction. You just know how Strawberry Fields feels when, in Quantum of Solace, after sharing a much coveted night with James, she feel ashamed that she gave in to the cliche of sleeping with the spy. Ashamed and fabulous. James, you shake me and stir me......



Thomas Crown Pierce Brosnan The Thomas Crown Affair

Suave, sophisticated, handsome and a consummate thief. Thomas Crown knows how to live. When Catherine Banning is brought in to catch a thief, she is seduced by this enigma of a man. When he oh so cleverly puts the painting back at the end, she is left heartbroken that he has gone. But Thomas has one more trick in store for her. One of the sexiest and most stylish films of all time, leaves you with a heady feeling for days, do you want to dance, or do you want to dance?


J.D. Brad Pitt Thelma and Louise

My Mum told me to never pick up hitchhikers. I think it's the best idea Thelma and Louise ever had. With his cocky cowboy attitude and ridiculous good looks, J.D. bursts into Thelma's life and bed, like a bull in a rodeo. No time for remorse, who cares he took your money, just be very grateful he didn't have a car. Your Mother's not always right.



Butch Cassidy Paul Newman Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

In one sweet, unbelievably intimate scene, Butch Cassidy's feelings for Sundance's girl Etta are revealed. No words are needed, he whispers sweet nothings in her ear as he she is transported on the front of his bicycle built for two as the romantic tones of 'raindrops keep falling on my head' play in the background. Neither would ever cheat on Sundance, but oh, what a sacrifice, still, crying's not for me.




Alfie Jude Law Alfie

This film is a really watered down version of the great 1966 movie. The thing is, the 2004 Alfie is sweeter, sexier and so much more handsome. I too, would have succumbed to his roguish charms...I know what it's all about, Alfie....



Roux Johnny Depp Chocolat

An Irish gypsy wandering around France with his travelling family and little to his name. Doesn't sound a great bet does he? Unless his name is Roux. Soft and gentle, mysterious and fun, as unpredictable as the wind. He doesn't let on his favourite chocolate until the end.. Now he could get the squeak out of my door.



Count Dracula Gary Oldman Dracula

I'm no Twilight fan, but Count Dracula is another animal altogether. Intense and smouldering, he stalks Mina as a lion would stalk a deer. With a love that flows through the ages, Vlad finds Elizabeta. Dump that dolt Jonathan, Mina, and wear a nice off the shoulder number. Erotic, heartpounding, visceral. What sweet music he makes...



Dr Nicholas Garrigan James McAvoy The Last King of Scotland

Fresh out of Medical School, Dr Garrigan is travelling Africa looking for adventure, and boy does he find it. In search of hedonistic pleasure, he seduces Idi Amin's wife, he is blind to the consequences, she is not, but then isn't it worth the risk? What the hell, you gotta die of something...




Maverick Tom Cruise Top Gun

When a confident, devastatingly handsome young Naval Officer sings to you in a crowded bar, what do you do? Your head says "run!" but when he flashes you that smile, your heart says "stay". You don't want him to know you've got that loving feeling, but when he turns up on his motorbike, he takes your breath away.




Danny Archer Leonardo DiCaprio Blood Diamond

With a badly streaked haircut and a filthy cigarette habit,he's a brash Zimbabwean in a loud shirt. Danny's full of the harsh facts of life and scathing of the Western World. Worse than that, he's a blood diamond smuggler who deals in people's lives. He's as angry as a cut snake with a tortured past. Danny Archer brings more baggage with him than a goat herding National Geographic Photographer. Maddy's instinct was to run a mile, any self respecting girl would have. But in the steamy heat under the African sky, with the beer and the dancing and the red dust and the hint of the person Danny might become, it's not bling bling, it's bling bang.



Danny Martin Rob Lowe About Last Night...

The cheesy pick up line. The smug look on his face, he know's Debbie will say 'yes'. The double lead earphones and the worn out black bean bag. A few signs that this is not the right choice. But then he seduces you with those blue eyes, through those long black lashes, you know that you're going to be a notch on the bedpost, but what the hell, it's worth it to wake up next to that face.




Roy McAvoy Kevin Costner Tin Cup

When Roy McAvoy sets his sights on Molly, you just know she's in for a whole world of trouble. Roy, a washed up golfer reeks of loser, but he also reeks of another L word, lust. Dr Molly could do so much better, but on the other hand, she could do a heck of a lot worse. He's a hole in one..

Ben Barry Matthew MCconnaughey How to lose a guy in 10 days

When Andy makes a bet she can lose a guy in 10 days, she makes a bee line for Ben. Handsome, unable to commit with Texan charm just oozing out of him. The man got charisma. He would have been my first bet too. She manages to snag him for life, but I would be very happy with the 10 days, very happy indeed......


Daniel Cleaver Hugh Grant Bridget Jones's Diary

Daniel Cleaver is a very naughty boy. He loves women, hates commitment and is a cad in every sense of the word. When Bridget shows him her big knickers, he loves it, and we love him. Keep Mark Darcy. I'd rather have a weekend with Daniel, followed by a few days heartbreak than a life time with the bad humoured hand knitted jumper wearer.

Tony Stark Robert Downey Jr Ironman

Here comes trouble with a capital T. Rich, incredibly sexy, arrogant and with a love of things that go fast and blow up. What's not to love? With his hidden love of Pepper Potts, this superhero is not to be sneezed at.

The Hangover II

I saw The Hangover and whilst thought that some of it was well done, and quite clever, that it was extremely overrated. There were a couple of scenes that were downright terrible. Glorifying Mike Tyson after he raped a woman, what is that about? I understand that he did his time and should not be villified for ever, but to actively give this man air time and treat him like an icon is wrong. There was also a scene where Alan (Zach Galifianikis) simulated a baby performing a sexual act. Not funny. This guy Alan was supposed to be a character that we all warmed to, but he was not allowed within a certain range of a high school because he was a sexual predator. I think most things can have fun poked at them. I like dark jokes, and being a nurse have a pretty black sense of humour. Some things are out of bounds. Babies and children being seen in a sexual light is one of them. Animal cruelty is another.I have read some interviews regarding The Hangover II. It concerns me greatly that a monkey was used in the movie. Whilst I have read that the monkey didn't actually smoke a lit cigarette and CGI was used for the smoke, it's still really really inappropriate. Animals just aren't here for our amusement or entertainment. More shocking was that the American Humane Society was allegedly not allowed on set. The poster says it all really. It's like moving back to the dark ages. I think it's a shame for the actors involved, where are their ethics? Does anyone need the money that badly? I am all for pushing the envelope, but not at the cost of an animal. For this reason I will not be watching, or reviewing The Hangover Part II. THE HANGOVER PART II: Leaves me with a headache and a sour taste in my mouth, and I haven't even seen it. 0/10.

Rabbit Hole

Starring Nicole Kidman and Aaron Eckhart as Becca and Howie, this is a story of a couple struggling to cope with the aftermath eight months after their four year old son's death. Becca is closed off and unable to express her feelings, Howie is more open and feels the pain of loss differently which causes conflict along the way. Becca also has to deal with her mixed feelings at the news that her irresponsible sister is pregnant, and her Mother Nat's (Dianne Wiest) constant comparisons to her situation and the loss of her son, Becca's brother to a drug overdose. Howie chooses to find solace in group therapy meetings, friendship with another woman, and surrounding himself with his son Danny's memories. Becca's pain is eased by bonding with the teenage driver of the car that killed her son. This heartbroken couple slowly try and find their way back to each other, and in doing so make some surprising choices along the way. If this sounds a bleak movie, well, it is really. Anyone who has ever loved a child will find some of the scenes unbearable. There is some humour, and it's extremely touching and well crafted, probably due in no small part to the fact that the film is based on a play. Regular readers of my blog will know by now that Nicole Kidman is highly overrated in my view. I have to give credit where it's due though, she's not bad in this. She is playing to type, the unexpressive ice queen, but it's certainly one of her better performances. Aaron Eckhart is great as usual. He brings great warmth and pathos to his role of the devastated and frustrated Howie. Dianne Weist is superb, as the slightly irritating, scatty Mum, who really does understand what's going on. Sandra Oh makes an appearance too as a professional grieving Mother who befriends Howie. Some of the scenes and acting are a little stilted, it's a bit like watching a play at times, which is inevitable usually when plays have been re-scripted to movies. This is a film worth watching, if you can bear it. RABBIT HOLE: Makes you want to scurry off and bury yourself in a burrow, except with the comfort of chocolate rather than carrots. 7/10.

Water for Elephants

An elderly man (Hal Holbrook)is found wandering the grounds of a circus and is taken in to the office by the manager (Paul Schneider) to contact his home. The man begins to talk about his life in the circus and so begins Water for Elephants. It's the story of Jacob (Robert Pattinson) a promising young veterinary student who is pulled out of his finals to hear the tragic news that his parents have been killed. Jacob leaves and finds the circus. He is taken in by the workers and is quickly elevated to the status of vet by the circus ringmaster Auguste (Christophe Waltz), and falls in love with his enchanting wife, Marlena (Reese Witherspoon). The path of true love never did run smooth however, and when Auguste acquires an elephant as his star attraction, it becomes apparent just how cruel the ringmaster can be. There is a lot to like about this film, and there's a certain amount not to like about this film. Let's start with the positives. It looks beautiful. Robert Pattinson can act and it's so refreshing to see him smiling and animated rather than all moodiness and fangs. Christoph Waltz again shows his acting prowess with a powerhouse performance as the cruel, conflicted Auguste. The supporting actors are good and although the story is gentle, it's well crafted and keeps you entertained. The film also give a fascinating insight into the circus life that people rarely see. Now the cons. I like Reese Witherspoon but she doesn't really come across so well as someone to instantly capture a young man's heart. I feel there is a coldness, almost prudishness to her acting. She is a good actor, but not quite right for this role. Not enough heart. Although her clothes are fabulous. There are also some terrible scenes of animal cruelty which are disturbing. Obviously they are CGI but nevertheless, animals were used in this film, and I have a problem with that. Whilst I am sure they were not mistreated, it does make you think of all those poor creatures in times gone by, and still used today for the amusement of humans. A good advertisement for non-animal circuses. This film could have been one of the greatest love stories of the decade. Unfortunately it isn't because the romance just never manages to convince, Marlena just doesn't come across as being as head over heels as Jacob is. Maybe that's the recipe for true love. WATER FOR ELEPHANTS: Roll up, Roll up. Throw your hat into the ring and go and see it. 7/10.

Source Code

Colter Stevens is a helicopter pilot who wakes up on a train in the body of another man. He is sitting across from Christina (Michelle Monaghan), eight minutes pass and the train is blown up. Colter comes to in a capsule, and is confronted with instructions from Goodwin (Vera Farmiga) and Dr. Rutledge, (Jeffrey Wright). He is informed that he is on a mission to continue to go back on to the train for the same eight minutes until he finds the bomber. So begins an extraordinary and intricate film. Colter finds he is more and more drawn to Christina and what starts out as a military mission, soon unfolds into something far deeper and much more emotional. As Colter struggles to find out the identity of the bomber, so unfolds more unanswered questions, where is he and why can't he contact his father? Michelle Monaghan such a likeable actress is brilliant as the warm and funny Christina, who is just getting to know this man on the train. Vera Farmiga is official, but brings real heart and compassion to her character. Jeffery Wright really needs a curly moustache to stroke as he limps along as the bad scientist, a great role. But of course, this film belongs to Colter Stevens, or should I say Jake Gyllenhaal?

Wow this boy can act. From intelligent and focused to romantic to vulnerable and confused, this guy has it all going on. He doesn't seem to put a foot wrong when choosing his roles. Just exceptional and heartbreaking. The director is shaping up to be a force to be reckoned with as well. Duncan Jones also directed the excellent 'Moon' and just happens to be the son of David Bowie. Sometimes talented parents really do have offspring that deserve to be recognised in their own right. It's a tribute to all the brave men and women who are in the services. This is an absolutely unexpected delight. I knew it would be a great thriller, what I didn't realise how much soul it would have as well. SOURCE CODE:The right combination for a supreme formula, at ease Soldier. 9/10.

Something Borrowed

Rachel and Darcy (Ginnifer Goodwin and Kate Hudson) are BFF's. Rachel is a quiet, single lawyer and Darcy is a good time girl, who is all about Darcy. Darcy is just weeks away from marrying the lovely Dex (Colin Egglesfield, lush), whom she met through Rachel when they were law students together. The problem is that Rachel has always loved Dex, and after her 'surprise' 30th birthday party, she ends up in bed with him. What the heck are they going to do now? Their dilemma is helped by Rachel's brilliant friendship with Ethan (the fabulously charming John Krasinski) and things become even more difficult when they all go up to the Hamptons to let loose before the wedding. I have to say, this is well above the average romantic comedy. The story line is actually believable. Nothing really ridiculous happens. Although some of the characters are larger than life, they are believable too, and actually rather nice. Kate Hudson is great as stage hogging self centred Darcy, who has a heart beating somewhere underneath the shallow facade. Relative newcomer and Tom Cruise look alike Colin Egglesfield is sweet and genuine as the honourable but torn Dex. Ginnifer Goodwin is far less needy than usual, but it's John Krasinski that effortlessly steals every scene he's in. He's just hilarious. It's well worth a watch, and the ending, whilst a little predictable isn't wrapped up with a neat bow on top, and you're left with a real feeling of satisfaction. Personally I would have hopped on a London bus with Ethan, but then I always was a sucker for a funny guy. SOMETHING BORROWED: Something old is nicely mixed up with something new, and it won't leave you feeling blue. 7/10

Arthur

Ahhh, the movie remake. Why do people do them? Well, occasionally, just occasionally, they're better than the original. Ocean's 11, The Fly, The Thomas Crown Affair, True Grit and well, that's all I can think of. I will not be adding Arthur to this quartet. Not that it's bad, just that it's not good. It's the story of Arthur Bach, a rich irresponsible playboy who is blackmailed by his Mother to marry Susan a very capable business woman who will keep the family millions on track. Arthur doesn't want to marry Susan and falls in love with Naomi. She gives him the incentive to become a better man. Arthur attempts to change his ways through AA and finding employment for the first time in his life. All the while in the moral dilemma of should he marry Susan and live in luxury or be disinherited and be happy with unlicensed tour guide Naomi? The original Arthur starred Dudley Moore and was decidedly politically incorrect and delightful. It is a very difficult task to make a rich, hedonistic drunken playboy the beloved hero of a story, but Dudley pulled it off brilliantly. Russell Brand is Arthur of the 21st Century. Unlike some members of my family, I do rather like him, in his place. Whilst his looks are quite spooky, reminiscent of the great, long, red-legged scissor man; he is not without his charm. The problem is that to pull off the role of Arthur, you need a real boyish innocence, an innate sweetness, a je ne sais quoi. Mr Perry is just far too streetwise to be that man. He also can't act particularly well and can't act drunk at all. In acting inebriated, Dudley Moore was peerless. Susan is played by the very talented Jennifer Garner. Unfortunately it is excruciating to watch her lower her standards to such a level in the scene where she is forced to play the sexy drunk kitten. Arthur's love interest is played by Greta Gerwig, a favourite on the Indy circuit. In the original she was played by Liza Minelli. Love her or hate her, she was quirky and individual, different from the other dames. Greta Gerwig's Naomi is insipid and simpering, nothing special at all. The John Gielgud role of Hobson is in the very capable hands of Helen Mirren. She does an admirable job, but the relationship between her and Arthur is a bit blurred. Whilst she's supposed to be the surrogate Mother, it's more like they're sparring spouses. They have by far the best chemistry, but even that is disjointed and you don't quite believe that he's heartbroken when she leaves him on his own. It's a weird film really. Whilst it's obviously trying to be a different updated version of the original, there are great chunks of lines taken from the first film. Also, it loses a huge amount of heart and humour by trying to be so politically correct. Susan's dad is played by Nick Nolte. Ironically he doesn't like Arthur because of his drinking but himself looks like he's staggered in from the nearest liquor store. It's a miracle that he remembered his lines at all, not that you'd know because he's incoherent most of the time. If you think there's too much comparison to the far superior original, even down to the wonderful soundtrack, that's because if you make a remake, expect people to compare it because you cannot separate the two. It's not a terrible film, there just really was no point in making it in the first place. ARTHUR: This is what happens If you get caught between a goon that's just not witty, I know it's crazy, but it's true. 4/10