Friday, July 1, 2011

Oh go on then, just this once....

I am in need of cheering up. You may have read my previous blog 'Swoon, I'll catch you', it was a tribute to the leading men in my and my beloved sister's movie lives. Now I would like to do a different tribute. A smuttier tribute. This one is for the men in films that you really know you shouldn't like. The rogues, the heartbreakers, the good time boys. You don't want to make a life with them, or even go out with them, just the weekend will do. You almost feel embarrassed that you have succumbed to their charms. But succumb you have. Here's to the boys that make you feel great whilst you're watching them, and a little bit grubby after the credits roll, don't deny it, you know what I mean ladies..... Ray, enjoy in no particular order!

James Bond Daniel Craig

We've all got our own special Bond with James. Some like Roger, some Timothy, Pierce or in most cases Sean. They can all stay in the Astin Martin. For me, Daniel is James. The edge of menace, the eyes of ice blue, the perfect compact body, the brooding looks, the whisper of humour on his perfect pout. For the beach scene where he barely conceals his weapon of mass destruction. You just know how Strawberry Fields feels when, in Quantum of Solace, after sharing a much coveted night with James, she feel ashamed that she gave in to the cliche of sleeping with the spy. Ashamed and fabulous. James, you shake me and stir me......

Thomas Crown Pierce Brosnan The Thomas Crown Affair

Suave, sophisticated, handsome and a consummate thief. Thomas Crown knows how to live. When Catherine Banning is brought in to catch a thief, she is seduced by this enigma of a man. When he oh so cleverly puts the painting back at the end, she is left heartbroken that he has gone. But Thomas has one more trick in store for her. One of the sexiest and most stylish films of all time, leaves you with a heady feeling for days, do you want to dance, or do you want to dance?

J.D. Brad Pitt Thelma and Louise

My Mum told me to never pick up hitchhikers. I think it's the best idea Thelma and Louise ever had. With his cocky cowboy attitude and ridiculous good looks, J.D. bursts into Thelma's life and bed, like a bull in a rodeo. No time for remorse, who cares he took your money, just be very grateful he didn't have a car. Your Mother's not always right.

Butch Cassidy Paul Newman Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

In one sweet, unbelievably intimate scene, Butch Cassidy's feelings for Sundance's girl Etta are revealed. No words are needed, he whispers sweet nothings in her ear as he she is transported on the front of his bicycle built for two as the romantic tones of 'raindrops keep falling on my head' play in the background. Neither would ever cheat on Sundance, but oh, what a sacrifice, still, crying's not for me.

Alfie Jude Law Alfie

This film is a really watered down version of the great 1966 movie. The thing is, the 2004 Alfie is sweeter, sexier and so much more handsome. I too, would have succumbed to his roguish charms...I know what it's all about, Alfie....

Roux Johnny Depp Chocolat

An Irish gypsy wandering around France with his travelling family and little to his name. Doesn't sound a great bet does he? Unless his name is Roux. Soft and gentle, mysterious and fun, as unpredictable as the wind. He doesn't let on his favourite chocolate until the end.. Now he could get the squeak out of my door.

Count Dracula Gary Oldman Dracula

I'm no Twilight fan, but Count Dracula is another animal altogether. Intense and smouldering, he stalks Mina as a lion would stalk a deer. With a love that flows through the ages, Vlad finds Elizabeta. Dump that dolt Jonathan, Mina, and wear a nice off the shoulder number. Erotic, heartpounding, visceral. What sweet music he makes...

Dr Nicholas Garrigan James McAvoy The Last King of Scotland

Fresh out of Medical School, Dr Garrigan is travelling Africa looking for adventure, and boy does he find it. In search of hedonistic pleasure, he seduces Idi Amin's wife, he is blind to the consequences, she is not, but then isn't it worth the risk? What the hell, you gotta die of something...

Maverick Tom Cruise Top Gun

When a confident, devastatingly handsome young Naval Officer sings to you in a crowded bar, what do you do? Your head says "run!" but when he flashes you that smile, your heart says "stay". You don't want him to know you've got that loving feeling, but when he turns up on his motorbike, he takes your breath away.

Danny Archer Leonardo DiCaprio Blood Diamond

With a badly streaked haircut and a filthy cigarette habit,he's a brash Zimbabwean in a loud shirt. Danny's full of the harsh facts of life and scathing of the Western World. Worse than that, he's a blood diamond smuggler who deals in people's lives. He's as angry as a cut snake with a tortured past. Danny Archer brings more baggage with him than a goat herding National Geographic Photographer. Maddy's instinct was to run a mile, any self respecting girl would have. But in the steamy heat under the African sky, with the beer and the dancing and the red dust and the hint of the person Danny might become, it's not bling bling, it's bling bang.

Danny Martin Rob Lowe About Last Night...

The cheesy pick up line. The smug look on his face, he know's Debbie will say 'yes'. The double lead earphones and the worn out black bean bag. A few signs that this is not the right choice. But then he seduces you with those blue eyes, through those long black lashes, you know that you're going to be a notch on the bedpost, but what the hell, it's worth it to wake up next to that face.

Roy McAvoy Kevin Costner Tin Cup

When Roy McAvoy sets his sights on Molly, you just know she's in for a whole world of trouble. Roy, a washed up golfer reeks of loser, but he also reeks of another L word, lust. Dr Molly could do so much better, but on the other hand, she could do a heck of a lot worse. He's a hole in one..

Ben Barry Matthew MCconnaughey How to lose a guy in 10 days

When Andy makes a bet she can lose a guy in 10 days, she makes a bee line for Ben. Handsome, unable to commit with Texan charm just oozing out of him. The man got charisma. He would have been my first bet too. She manages to snag him for life, but I would be very happy with the 10 days, very happy indeed......

Daniel Cleaver Hugh Grant Bridget Jones's Diary
Daniel Cleaver is a very naughty boy. He loves women, hates commitment and is a cad in every sense of the word. When Bridget shows him her big knickers, he loves it, and we love him. Keep Mark Darcy. I'd rather have a weekend with Daniel, followed by a few days heartbreak than a life time with the bad humoured hand knitted jumper wearer.

Tony Stark Robert Downey Jr Ironman

Here comes trouble with a capital T. Rich, incredibly sexy, arrogant and with a love of things that go fast and blow up. What's not to love? With his hidden love of Pepper Potts, this superhero is not to be sneezed at.


  1. Oh yeeaahhh!! Fabulous post...I'm specially in awe of how you managed to 'slip in' a couple of your very Top 5 men by citing the characters & NOT the actors. Inspired...& a leetle bit sneaky!Of course, i don't agree with all of them, but the beauty of your excellent writing is that I can totally see why you picked them all! More like this please. I could talk about gorgeous moviemen for ever. Thanks so much xoxoxo Ray

  2. Great job giving us a look at the naughty boys. So fun, think I'll have to re-watch some of those movies to enjoy them again. Haven't seen Gary Oldman in Dracula; one more to look forward too!
    Great bit of fun!

  3. Oh you girls and your affection for the tiniest of men. We'd never compete for rogues. Does bring me back to a time when I was young and dating a guy in college and the dorm girls warned me he had a bit of a "rep." Oh my! What to do? Marry him maybe. It might have been a better story if it had worked out a little more happily or more permanently.

    But oh in terms of the rogues, except maybe for Newman, I'd not tumble for any of the above. Mr Darcy would definitely be my choice above Cleaver. But heavens what about the rogue of all rougues--Rhett Butler--he knows what a girl looks like without her shimmy. And oh my Dennis Quaid in The Big Easy--stories of the power of love to transform are my fave and he was a rotter whom love gave a new lease on life. And what about my beloved Hari in Regarding Henry--a self-entitled lawyer who only became a lover after a brain injury. (Insert lawyer joke here, sorry Paul, not you.) In terms of darling Hugh, wouldn't you rather be with his vapid guy in About a Boy--love transformed him too. Oh my oh my there are so many but I should stop before I get too dazzled by bad guys. But one more Skye Masterson in Guys and Dolls. As I always said Brando is the one 500 pound guy I'd still want to sleep with. What can I say--you girls are married, but I've been single for decades and have made a very nice pastime out of weekends with bad boys. They're better in bed. As Mae West said, when I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better.

    Thanks for the super fun post, Esther. I feel as though I know you from all Rachel's comments about you. You're a great writer and it's always fun to read your posts.